As a trans, queer, cis-male passing, light-skinned brown person, I ride a particular line between privilege and oppression. This line informs how I move and the ways in which I engage. Because as a light-skinned brown person I benefit from anti-Black racism, which means I am also, likely, perpetuating anti-Black racism and likely to trade on the privileges of being perceived as a cisgender man with light skin, without awareness.
My process of becoming and continuing to become anti-racist took time. It took a few years for the behavioral changes to become integrated and automatic. What I learned is that deep transformational change takes time as we must move through and experience all the emotions that arise when we face the honesty of our beings; and as we learn new behaviors and new choices while challenging old behaviors and long-held beliefs.
I have witnessed many different subjectivities struggle with how to help others, and organizations, understand and feel the urgency of becoming anti-racist. I have also witnessed subjectivities struggle with their privilege and deeply grapple with their ignorance.
I have often encountered white people, who believe in equality and want to do the right thing, be engaged in, and committed to, a dynamic tightness between their desire for change and their commitment to ignorance. I have witnessed this in many different spaces: activist spaces, academic spaces, non-profits whose missions include that of anti-racism, white queer and trans people, white people with disabilities, light-skinned brown people, and individuals who are good and caring.
To be clear, to be ignorant is to be human. We are all ignorant about topics, cultures, histories, etc., especially those outside of our own. Ignorance is a simple not-knowing. Choosing or committing to ignorance is an entirely different experience and subjectivity.
One of the main responses and tactics I’ve heard and witnessed from those who are in this paradoxical space of change within ignorance is, “change takes time.”
Yes, change takes time, social reform takes time, going from one place to another place takes time.
Because no one can become something new, something different, in a day. Because integration is a process of gradual behavioral shifts. The amount of time, however, is entirely dependent on the willingness to let go of ignorance and take the risks of becoming something new. Because change requires…
Courage. Courage to do the hard things, to face the hard feelings and hard truths.
Honesty. Honesty of ourselves, our beliefs, of the systems and how we benefit.
Awareness. Awareness from the Individual to the Institutional.
Nourishment. Nourishment of self, of others, of community.
Grace. Grace in our beliefs, our emotionality, our ways of being.
Evolution. Evolution in the possibilities of becoming and creating.
Consider the process of metamorphosis for a caterpillar to become a butterfly. The caterpillar must allow itself to dissolve into a gooey mess so that it may reform and become something new. Upon it’s reforming it must now find its way out of the confines of what was once the right fit and open its wings into the newness of becoming. Where it then joins the ecological community in a new way.
Change is not easy. It is scary. It is hard. It is uncomfortable. A question one needs to ask is,
“How is my ignorance serving me and preventing me from change?”
For some the answer will be money and power. A fear of loss. “I worked hard to get where I am, others can work hard too. As long as I ignore my place and complicity in this, then I am not responsible, nor do I benefit from the oppression of others.”
For some it will be about a sense of self and the dissolution of that. “I am a good person. I do good things. As long as I don’t think bad things or do bad things to other people, then I can ignore my place and complicity in the oppression of others.”
For some it is the understanding that one who is privileged does not want to be part of the marginalized and oppressed groups. “What’s happening to Black people and people of color around the world is horrible. I can help from here (e.g. give money, march, etc..) but I don’t want to go over there. I don’t want to be treated like that. So, as long as I don’t treat others like that, then I can ignore my place and complicity in the oppression of others.”
How can we respond to these questions and challenges?
What does one do from here?
Image Description: A large, black circle with three words and blue arrows placed around its edge. Each word is purple, framed by a thick, black lined rectangle. Around the edge of the circle are the three phases. If the circle were a compass then at North, is the word AWARENESS. Southeast is the word ACTION. Southwest is the word INTEGRATION. Between each word is a blue arrow indicating a The clockwise movement around the circle. Another black line, on the inside of the circle, curves inward between AWARENESS and ACTION, with another blue arrow indicating a clockwise movement between Awareness and Action. Between Awareness and Integration is another inward curved line with another blue arrow, indicating a clockwise movement between Integration and Awareness. This diagram model is meant to represent the conversation between the three phases, as well as indicate Awareness as the touchstone for the other two phase.
What I offer and always return to is The Transformative Solidarity Model. In this instance and with these questions I offer a deeper dive of Awareness of the Individual and The Five Guiding Principles.
And as is often true with many forms of transformational change, I can only offer you a map and guidance. I cannot tell you how to do your transformational work, I cannot give you a step list that is one-size fits all. The Transformative Solidarity Model is meant to be a way in which we can place ourselves in the systems of oppression to turn our privilege into systemic change.
I invite you to grab a journal, or find a quiet place to look at, or a quiet place in your mind and consider the following invitations of exploration.
Awareness of the Individual invites the questions of:
Who are you?
Who am I?
How do I want to show up and address the injustices of which I benefit? How do I begin to acknowledge the ways in which I benefit?
I believe if we can realize and comprehend the injustices around us, happening to others, then we can realize and comprehend how we benefit from those injustices.
Awareness of the Individual is holding an awareness of the differences in experiences between those with privilege and those who are oppressed. It is understanding that those of us with privilege have choice and agency because there are those that are oppressed.
Awareness of the Individual is engaging The Five Guiding Principles: Commitment, Honesty, Grace, Vulnerability, and Witness.
What is honest about your place of privilege? What is honest about your resistance to change or commitment to ignorance? What is honest about who you are and how you want to show up vs. how you are showing up?
As you think and respond to these questions, remember to invite in Grace: meeting yourself where you are, honoring who you’ve been, and looking forward to who you can become. Grace allows us to hold the honesty of our beings without falling into despair and shame.
And with honesty and grace we are able to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is to open space, free of judgement, for possibility and growth. Without vulnerability our ignorance remains our comfort and our challenge.
We just need to begin. Anywhere. Just begin. Or begin again. Take the risks to acknowledge your ignorance, your commitment to it and recommit to turning your privilege into change.
One way of beginning is to set one to three realistic and sustainable goals that can be reached within three to six months.
First: What is one thing you want to change? What is one thing you know you need to face and address? Is it within you? Within your relationships? Your organization?
Second: Set a realistic and sustainable goal.
Third: Set realistic and sustainable steps to achieve that goal.
Fourth: Begin those steps, one at a time, until you reach your goal.
Examples of Goals and Steps:
Example Goal 1: In six months, I will have read ___________ to learn more about Black History where I live OR In six months I will have read (number of) Black authors.
Example Goal 2: In two months, I will prepare and have that hard conversation with _________.
Example Goal 3: Within three months I will have begun a course, found a coach, or something else to guide me in addressing and dismantling the privileges I have to learn how to turn them into change.
No one is perfect and our systems actively block and stall our progress toward change.
These systems only maintain as along as we remain complicit and committed to ignorance.
Are you committing to ignorance or are you committing to change?
All offerings are available virtually and in-person. Workshops and programs follow the Transformative Solidarity (TS) Model.
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Please note: All workshops include discussions of and challenges to racism. We believe no matter the topic of injustice, without including and addressing racism we will inevitably perpetuate racism and white supremacy.
We currently offer Turning Privilege Into Change workshops on anti-racism and trans and nonbinary active-allyship.
Our CE Courses are available for licensed mental health service providers in California working with trans and nonbinary clients. We currently offer courses in Spring and Autumn.
Our long term programs are designed for companies and non-profit organizations working toward systemic change. These programs are six, nine, or twelve months depending on your needs.
We offer one-on-one and group coaching depending on your needs. We are available for private, corporate, and nonprofit consultations. Contact us to schedule your free first 30 minute call.
