In the Transformative Solidarity Model, the three phases: Awareness, Action, and Integration are our map. They help us determine where we are, where to go, and what to do once we get there. The Five Guiding Principles are what support and hold us in being where we are, getting to where we want to go, and determining what to do once we get there. Without the Five Guiding Principles I believe we will continue to stumble in repeated patterns and maintain the systems of privilege and oppression we are trying to shift.
Click here for the Embodying the Five Guiding Principles Exercise.
To commit is to make a choice. To make a choice is to have agency. Commitment is agency.
Sometimes we commit to Transformative Solidarity because we think we are supposed to. But when we commit out of obligation, our actions and our choices will rarely be in honest solidarity. We will rarely experience honest transformation.
Commitment is choice, if we don’t move into commitment with agency we will struggle to be in honesty, to find grace, to be vulnerable, and I believe we will remain fearful of being witnessed.
To commit is to make a choice. To make a choice is to have agency. Commitment is agency.
What are the choices you are making? Are they rooted in honesty, grace and vulnerability? If not, will you invite yourself to lean toward them? Will you risk being witnessed so that you may grow and be reflected back to yourself?
Honesty is the space between right and wrong. It’s not just about what’s true or what happened. It is about the insides of what happened. It’s about our histories, our triggers, our expectations. It is our joys, fears, struggles, and confusions. To be honest is to sit in the awkward and uncomfortable moments of ourselves, of others, and of Transformative Solidarity.
What are areas or conversations in your life where you can invite in more Honesty?
Grace is meeting ourselves where we are, honoring who we’ve been, and looking forward to who we can become.
It is also about meeting others where they are, holding space for their histories, and for the possibility of who they can become.
Grace is the space we come to when sitting with the honesty between right and wrong becomes uncomfortable or unpleasant. Grace embraces the complexities of the human experience. It is about supporting our process of understanding as we challenge ourselves and the systems around us.
What are areas or conversations in your life where you can meet yourself or others where you are, honor who you’ve been, and look forward to who you can each become?
Vulnerability is to open space, free of judgement, for possibility and growth.
Honesty and Grace allow us to set down the judgement of ourselves and others. And without judgement we are able to lean into vulnerability.
When we’re honest and we find and lean into grace, this opens space for vulnerability. Vulnerability invites others in. Vulnerability invites ourselves in. To be vulnerable is to risk. It is to risk feeling joy, intimacy, harm, love, and shame. To be vulnerable is to open space for possibility and growth.
How might you open space, free of judgement, for possibility and growth?
To Witness is to engage, to be with and within the experience. To be part of the transformation.
Witness facilitates the space to move from private to public. It is to engage. We are not just watching or being watched – we are with and within the experience. We are part of the transformation.
Witness is to expose and open ourselves to vulnerability with others, and with ourselves. This is something we do for ourselves and something we can do for others. It is about embracing the Awareness of the Individual.
To witness is to hold space for both the feelings and the curiosity of the moment.
How might you witness yourself and others in moments of struggle or injustice? How might you hold space for the feelings and the curiosity of the moments of transformation?
The five Guiding Principles in practice
I told my friend I would work on a project with them. We talked about what it meant and might look like. But I didn’t show up. I kept cancelling or rescheduling our meetings. I didn’t really show up for the conversations around brainstorming. And my friend had to, kind of, pull me along. And eventually my friend got upset and called me out on it. What’s true is what I told them, I had just become a freelancer and was learning what that meant for me and what’s true is I did have other work come in. And so, what is true is that it was hard for me to juggle all of these things.
But, what is honest is that I didn’t want to prioritize this work with my friend because I was feeling disappointed about another job they had that didn’t come through. What’s honest is I got scared about my future and income and prioritized other things. What is also honest is I didn’t know how to share this with my friend, and I wasn’t fully aware of it when it happened. What’s honest is that I pulled away without any explanation or conversation and that hurt my friends’ feelings and created confusion between us. What might also be honest is that I had a triggered response when my friend expressed anger and upset toward me. And it’s possible that it’s also honest I became defensive.
Finding grace for myself might look like holding space for my growing awareness, loving myself for the ways in which I try to protect myself, patience as I learn, belief in myself that I can grow and become in the ways that I desire. Grace for my friend could look like understanding why they might be frustrated with me, hurt, or feeling dismissed. It can also look like holding empathy for how they might feel to have a friend not show up when they said they would.
Vulnerability can be sharing with my friend what’s honest, acknowledging the ways in which I hurt them, and offering an apology. Vulnerability can also be about holding space and receiving the feelings and experience of my friend. Vulnerability is letting go of who is right or wrong, and embracing curiosity, compassion, and grace for yourself and the other. Vulnerability can also be about holding the possibility that you might be wrong. And leaning into all that might bring up with grace and in honesty.
Witnessing myself could be observing my behavior, emotions, and reactions while holding all the understanding and grace I might show a dear friend or family member. Witnessing my friend could be in the observation of their language, behaviors, and other information I might know and holding them in grace and understanding. Holding space to witness their experience, emotions, and reactions to what happened.
Commitment shows up when my friend and I decided to have a conversation about what happened between us. Commitment was the choice to share my experience and to embrace theirs. Commitment to my Awareness of the Individual and Interpersonal. To help guide me in the areas I might struggle. Commitment to Awareness of the Institutional and that so much of what I’ve been taught benefits only some, so how I can move differently?